Not too long ago, the thought of snipping more than two inches of my hair scared me shitless. I was that girl in the stylist’s chair, crippled by the fear of losing any more hair than I had emotionally prepared myself for. I blame my control-freak Virgo side.
But last October, I felt none of those emotions as I arrived for a 2:00 p.m. appointment with my longtime hairstylist, Erickson at the Bumble and Bumble salon in Manhattan’s Meatpacking District, ready to chop off a cool 11 inches and send it to be donated. Mind you, this wasn’t the first (or even second) time I’d donated my hair. I’d done back-to-back cuts during my teen years that went to Locks of Love and Pantene’s (now discontinued) Beautiful Lengths program. But the nerves I’d experienced back then were off the charts: What if I look like a little kid? Would boys still think I’m pretty?, were some of the thoughts that raced through my mind.
What nerves?
It’s a pleasure to say that I no longer give a flying fuck about what guys or anyone else think about my hair. Also, as the daughter of a breast cancer survivor, I know all too well the realities of hair loss related to treatments and medication and the emotional toll it can take. It was actually my mom who inspired me to consider donating my hair. (She experienced thinning, but never lost all of her beautiful curls.)
I’ve realized that hair possesses a unique magic. For so many women and girls, hair is a vehicle of self-expression and an integral part of one’s identity. As a girl who’s loved beauty since she was old enough to steal her mom’s makeup (sorry, mom), I know how lucky I am to be able to donate my hair and empower someone through a wig or hairpiece.
New look, new styling possibilities
Prior to my cut, I couldn’t tell you the last time I’d tried something adventurous in the hair-styling department. I’d avoided cutting my boob-length strands because I thought short hair (at least on me) was boring and distinctly un-styleable — two things I now know couldn’t be further from the truth. But after a summer filled with some of the highest highs (being a groomswoman at my best friend’s wedding) and lowest lows (losing my job and hitting rock bottom in my relationship), I decided that it was time to embrace change head-on: first step, shedding all that hair.
All of that brings me back to October 28, 2:12 p.m., my moment of letting go. As Erickson secured my hair into four (maybe five?) neat ponytails, I felt a pang of nervousness, sort of like being at the top of a roller coaster. Only this time, nothing sounded more satisfying to me than the sound of scissors snipping through chunks of hair. I couldn’t help but smile at my reflection, which somehow felt more like me than it had a couple of seconds before.
“To get the look, I used a razor to bring up the length and add movement,” Erickson explains of the process. “When bringing up the length you often get a lot of bulk, so the razor helps to soften the hair and give it more of a lived-in feel.”
What I never could’ve expected after my major change was that it helped me rediscover how I express myself through my hair. I’d grown pretty complacent and lazy about styling my super-long length. But now, I’ve been playing around with the new look in a way that feels insanely fresh. When I want to lean into the edgy vibe of the cut, I’ll use a curling wand (my favorite is the T3 Singlepass Wave) and some Oribe Dry Texturizing Spray to create messy bends in my hair. On other occasions, I’ll do a deep side part and add a cute barrette like those from Kitsch x Justine Marjan. And if I’m running late, or not in the mood to do a ton of styling, the right leave-in styler is all I need. “Bumble and Bumble’s Grooming Creme is great for when [you’re] on the go and just want to enhance your natural texture,” Erickson says.
While the right haircut can be amazing and life-changing in many ways, there are a few things to keep in mind: “Before going to the salon and asking for a dramatic cut, I always advise my clients to do some homework,” Erickson says. “Look at pictures and get inspiration for the cut you want, or find models or celebs who have a similar face shape and hair texture as you — you want to go to the salon feeling excited, not unsure.”
Now, instead of waking up and having my hair be an afterthought (or at worst, something I simply put up with), I’ve been experimenting with my look in the same way I love to try a new lipstick or nail polish color. At the end of the day, there’s a reason why a haircut is emotional, even nerve-racking at times — it’s a major part of who we are. It just took letting go of some of it for me to realize that.
